


Star Spangled Soulmarks

by MelTheSugarBug



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Animals, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky gets taken care of, By his tiny ass soulmark, CW broke me, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Cuz they all deserve it damn it, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Like a shiton of it, M/M, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Other, Pietro dead? Pfft, Polyamory, Possesive Bucky Barnes, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Soulmark AU, Steve Rogers Feels, Therapy, You touch his babies hell freakin cut you, what are you talking about, zootherapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-07-14 21:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7191434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelTheSugarBug/pseuds/MelTheSugarBug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmarks...brings hope in people's heart as much as it brings dread...</p><p>Or... Bucky and Steve find a new soulmark upon their respective awakening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to give this Soulmark au a shot :) so enjoy peeps!!!

Soulmarks... brings hope in people's heart as much as it brings dread. When will you get it? Once acquired , you wonder if yoy'll ever meet the persons whose name or symbol is etched into your skin. Some do, and some unfortunatly don't. 

Some are born with them,some get it(or them) at some point in their life. Very rare few never get them. Some refuse them while others accept them wholeheartedly. A particular few say you can sense it when your soulmark is near. It expressed by a deep, throbbing of the soulmark. Some others say that if you wish hard enough you could get anyone you want...

I've had my soulmarks since the day i was born. Two stars were etched onto the back of my left and right hip,making it seem like a unsavory tramp stamp. For one to have more them one soulmark was unusual but not rare. Althougj it was seen as taboo,sibce it would,most of the time,involve polyamory.   
I personally didnt mind, there was more love to give and receive but that was just me.

When I became of age, my parents finally told me the origins of the two stars. They were fairly accepting of the twins soulmarks. They said as long as i was happy,it was all that mattered. They had a big surprise though when at 14, a third soulmark appeared in the shape of a small 'A' under my ear. That ended up being a platonic soulmark,the guy who it belonged to ended up becoming my,gay,best friend. 

As for the other two ,they were yet to be found. For long,as a teen,I'd dream of the perfect reunion but as time went by...When they failed to show up , my hopes and dreams dwindling down to nothing and by the time i turned 20 ,those hopes and dreams were long gone,only leaving bitterness... 

I went on with my life, i went to college in zootherapy and found a job at a friend's psychiatrice practice. I dated very little and went out even less but that was ok with me. 

The soulmarks on my back were only good for reminding me of something that I will never have...


	2. Bouquet of Wildflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky finds his little soulmate out of sheer luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys I can!t express how pleased I am to see so much kudos and hits! Thank you so much

Bucky didn’t know what to make of the second star that had appeared on his skin when he was in the cryogenic chamber. The scientists tending to him had noticed it appearing but thought nothing of it, not that it would matter anyways. For them, soul marks were a hassle, completely useless. Now that he was free, well as free as he could be, he found himself watching the tiny teal star that was nestled into Steve’s star points, gently tracing it with a finger, wondering who it belonged to. He often wondering if he even wanted to meet that person, a woman or a man, being in his presence was a danger in itself and he wasn’t willing to risk yet another innocent soul.

It was by pure coincidence that he met her. He found himself wandering in a furnished forest in Canada, finding the expanses of mountains and greenery refreshing. The sky was covered in a light blanket of stars, which he had stopped in his track for a second to admire its purity, he hadn’t taken the time to look at them in so long. The air was a bit chilly but nothing he couldn’t handle. As he moved forward, his soul mark started to throb, a tattletale sign that one of his soul marks was near. His eyes had darted around, before seeking cover in the large expanse of trees, leaves not even rustling under his feet as he moved quietly. The throb became more insistent and then he saw her.

She was walking with a friend. A tiny little thing she was. Short blond hair, heart shaped face with a tiny nose and sparkling hazel eyes. Her delicate frame reminded him of Steve, back when he was tiny. The thought alone almost sent him into a tizzy as a memory hit him on the spot. Memories of back when Steve was small, oh so very small. Way back when they first got their soulmark. Memories of secret kisses, stolen kisses when no one was watching. Memories of simply existing together, him and Steve against the world. Till the end of the line. He had forced himself to keep quiet as he was taken by surprise by the flashback that hit him,his heart squeezing painfully in longing. His bit into his fist to keep himself quiet, he couldn’t let her spot him.

Despise promising himself not to approach in any way, to protect her, he found himself lurking around the area he had seen her. She appeared to be living with a group of girls in a cabin, watching them have a good time from a distance. He was discreetly watching over her, even though his method would seem a bit creepy to some. He couldn’t help himself when his protective instincts reared their ugly head.

I squatted near the fire, stick in hand, with a fluffy marshmallow at the tip. After ingesting my fair share of alcohol ( which was probably 3 cans of sugary alcoholic drink) I decided to roast some sugary goodness for myself on a fire, Marie’s fire, as she dubbed it. Her glorious fire, which she claimed was her baby. Marie was very drunk. I watched as the marshmallow roasted, spinning the stick slowly so all the sides were roasted evenly. I finally popped the sugary goodness in my mouth once I deemed it cool enough. I reached for my drink to wash it down when I felt my soulmark throb. It’s been at it since yesterday, ever since we arrived at the cabin. I frowned and gave it a quick rub, trying to get rid of the feeling.

‘You ok there sweetie?’ Marie, my friends big sister, who happened to be my friend as well asked. “You’ve been rubbing that spot since yesterday, did a bug bite you?” She asked in concern before taking a drag of her beer. Yeah bugs, bugs bite were an understatement in this case. The bugs freaking devoured you if you didn’t protect yourself properly. I learned my lesson when I went to stand by the river to catch some fish with only my bikini.

“nah, it’s… my soulmark, it’s been itching since yesterday” I said with a grimaced, rubbing at the spot again with the flat of my hand. There was a chorus of squeals and giggles. Maybe the girls drank too much.

“You know what this means, your soulmate is nearby” Marina, one of Marie’s friend said around a mouthful of wine. I couldn’t help but let out a small tsk and rolled my eyes, the eye roll going unnoticed since it was so dark aside from the light from the fire.

“It’s true” My friend Maude said, nudging me with her elbow” you never did tell me about your soulmark though” She continued, pushing her glasses further up her nose. I opened my mouth and closed it with a click.

“ Oh yes please, this is the perfect setting, a fire, alcohol and a group of friends hanging out, come one tell us about them” Marie insisted, practically batting her eyelashes at me. They all stared at me with rapt attention, making me bite my bottom lip nervously, fingers plucking at some blades of grass.  
“Fine, I’ll tell you” I finally relented and was met with a wave of cheers.

I gave a small sigh of relief as I rubbed my hair dry with a towel. I padded up the staircase leading to my and Maude’s shared room. I slipped inside and saw her tucked in, tapping away at her phone, only sparing me a glance as I came in. I hung the towel onto a hook on the door and slipped into bed, stretching out with a grunt as my back popped. I held the urge to rub away the tickling sensation as I reached for my phone. Would it ever go away? Did I have to go out there with a flashlight to look for my soulmate? Psshhh yeah right… I never believed in that tell-tale sign anyway.

Maude and I stayed in perfect silence; there was nothing awkward about it. I’ve known Maude for a total of 3 years now and she became one of my best friends. Her sassiness and smart-mouth was refreshing. I could also connect with her on levels where I didn’t connect with Alex, my platonic soulmate.

I set my phone aside as sleep started to make it hard to see my screen. I snuggled into the blankets and muttered all small good night. It didn’t take long before I fell into a peaceful sleep.

 

Which was disturbed by the nagging feeling of someone watching me and the soulmark throbbing like never before. I sat up abruptly in bed, trying to blink away sleep as my eyes tried to adjust to the darkness. My heart pounded away in my ribcage as I looked around hastily, seeing no one… I shivered as a breeze brushed against my naked arms. My head snapped to our window, which was ajar. I could’ve of sworn that I locked it before heading door bed. I stood up slowly, my feet meeting the hardwood floor silently. I tip toed to the window and saw that the bug screen was lying on the ground before the window. I swallowed hard as panic seized me, a ball of dread forming in the pit of my stomach. Someone tried to break in? Or maybe they did and they were downstairs? I picked up my phone and turned the phone flashlight on, careful to keep the ray of light away from Maude, who slept peaceful, light snores escaping her. I felt the need to wake her up, but maybe it was a false alarm? I didn’t want to jump to conclusion just yet. I slipped on some pants underneath my nightgown and slipped into a warm hoodie. I sneaked out into the hallway and closed the door softly behind me before going downstairs to slip on my vans.

 

I did a quick look around, seeing that nothing was disturbed. The light from above the kitchen oven was still on and by the looks of it, Marie and Marina were still by the fire. I sighed in relief, my heart rate decreasing. I took deep breath before leaning my hip against the counter as I tried to ease my mind, the scare almost pushing me into an anxiety attack. As my head cleared, after a few glass of water, I felt my soulmark throb like there was no tomorrow. I clenched my jaw, gripping my phone tightly. Alright that’s it. I was going to go and find him or her...

 

I found myself pausing at the front door. What was I doing? Why did I feel the need to go and find them this badly? I would be dumb of me to head out there alone in the dark, who knows, there could a Friday the 13th wannabe lurking around these dark woods. I pursed my lips as I leaned my forehead against the door with a sigh. Then again… maybe this was the only opportunity I’d get to finally meet at least one of my soulmates. I gave a nod to myself and opened the door, shining the cell’s flashlight infront of me as I stepped out. I briskly made my way down the driveway.

 

Was this my shittiest decision or not? I’ve been looking for at least an hour and the throbbing wouldn’t go down. I huffed as I sat on a large rock, reaching for my conveniently placed packet of cigarette in the pocket of my hoodie. I took one out and popped it into my mouth, extracting the small book of matches I kept inside the packet. I cracked a match and held the flame to the cancer sticks end, puffing slowly before snuffing the match out with a quick flick of my wrist. I threw it onto the ground and took a deep drag and let it out slowly, leaning my head back to look at the sky. It was gradually lightening, daybreak only an hour or two away. Maybe the throbbing was only because I was going to be on my period, then again, that just sounded ridiculous. I snapped back at attention when I heard a faint crack come from my right. I popped my cigarette in my mouth and I flashed the light in the direction of the noise, my heart in my throat as fear gripped me. Rustling of leaves could be heard ,steadily coming closer. My breath stuttered in my chest but let out an exagerated sigh of relief once a tiny hare popped out of a bush,it'seems tiny nose wiggling as it'stands ears stood erect on it's head. The hare suddenly took sight of me and darted back into the bush. I took a with puff of cigarette letting out the smoke in a frustrated sigh and sat back on the rock,my hand brushing against something. I startled again and yanked my hand away as if burned. A small bouquet of wild flowers had been set on the rock at the spot where I was sitting. I picked it up and admired the various flowers it contained.Daisies,buttercup and forget-me-nots. I felt my heart swell and I could feel the mark throbbing still. How did he or she put the bouquet there without me noticing? I let a small smile grace my lips as I gently touched the petal of a daisy with the tip of my fingers carefully making sure that the end of the cigarette didn't burn one of the flowers. I then held the bouquet to my chest.  
" thank you" I called to the expanse of trees before standing and retracing my steps to the cabin.

Once back at the cabin, all the lights were off and the sun was starting to peak over the mountains. The chirping of birds could be heard as they got started on their day. I tip toed inside and locked the door behind me. I headed to the kitchen to find a tall glass and put fresh water in it for the flowers. I dipped the flowers in the water,fluffing them a bit before setting the improvised vase on the dining room table. Maybe my faith in Soulmarks was restored after all...


	3. Please, Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry, I'be been postponing this like a little bitch im so sorry Dx but since I just got Internet back, YouTube happened hehe. Thanks for all the love my little gummies :)

The next day went as such. I’d find wildflowers bouquets all over the place; on the porch, on my windowsill and even underneath one the wipers of my car. The girls started asking questions and were overall ecstatic, scouting the area around the cabin for my ‘prince charming’. He never left a trace, absolutely nothing. It was like he was a ninja or something. I had to find a way to catch him.  
We tried to leave a camera to film him in the act but somehow, he managed to avoid it as well. Even keeping guard didn’t work since when we focused on a certain area, he would change to another. He was good, I had to admit, but why was he hiding?  
I decided in the end to just leave a note near the areas where he normally left the flowers.  
“Please, Stay” The note begged. The longing grew every day, almost to the point of being painful. If I finally found one of my soulmates, why was he hiding?  
I was keeping guard alone in the living room, not being able to find sleep, my soulmates elusiveness kept me from falling asleep. My mark kept throbbing in its incessant manner. It was early morning, the sun starting to peek over the mountains slowly, bathing the surrounding forest in a warm glow. I was about to call it quit when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I looked outside and saw someone lurking on the front porch. Could it be?

I slowly crept towards the door, but being the klutz that I was, I ended up tripping over the stray shoes that was near the door. I saw the person take off. Shit!  
I scrambled to my feet and dashed out the door. I took off after the hulking figure, fuck, they ran pretty fast. I could feel branches whip at my face, my arms and my legs. I suddenly tripped, my foot catching into a stray root. I quickly met the ground with a ‘oof’, my breath temporarily knocked from my lungs.  
“Fuck” I breathed in pain, making sure nothing was broken as I spat out dirt. I used my hands to lift myself up into a sitting position, still trying to spit out specks of dirt that had gotten in my mouth. I wiped at my face with the sleeve of my hoodie with a grimace, feeling the dirt crunch uncomfortably underneath my teeth. I turned to glare at the branch that stood out of the ground innocently. Little bitch…

“Are you OK?” A deep, baritone voice asked, which almost made me jump three feet in the air. I held back the scream of fright that nearly escaped my mouth as I put my hand over my heart as it thudded almost painfully against my rib cage. I looked up to see… one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen. He looked a bit scruffy but hot damn, he was hot. He was tall with gorgeous blue eyes, which were shadowed by a baseball cap that covered his chin length chocolate brown hair. He had a strong jaw with a cleft chin. A wide, muscular chest, tapered waist and thick, muscular thighs. He was dressed in a thick hoodie with plain jeans that did nothing to hide the muscles in his legs. I caught the glint of something on his left hand but didn’t pay much attention when he crouched down in front of me, his brow furrowed in concern. Finally, the mark had stopped throbbing. Finally, it was him, my soulmate! I shook my head and offered a tentative smile when he asked the same question again, seeming agitated by my silence. 

“ Y-Yeah I’m fine” I reassured, wiping the dirt that i had on my hands onto my jeans. He stayed quiet but his eyes were expressive, concern swam in his azure pools but there was something else in his gaze that I couldn't quite place. He reached out with his right hand and helped me up. He must of pulled too hard since i ended up with a face full of his muscular pecs, ahem....  
I spluttered nervously as I pulled away, reaching to wiped away the dirt from the seat of my pants. I could feel my cheeks heat up with a raging blush, even up to my ears.

I may have found my soulmate, but that didn't exactly helped me in being able to be smooth with the boys.  
" Um thanks" I finally answered, realizing that I had been standing there, just staring at him. He seemed amused by that fact, a hint of a smile turning up the corner of his mouth. That little crooked smile almost made me swoon on the spot. When the silence got too awkward, he turned to leave. I felt my heart jump in panic. No! He couldn't leave, not now, not now that I found him.  
I quickly grabbed his left hand and paused at it's solidity. It was unnaturally hard for a hand. He quickly pried it away as if burned, his eyes becoming uncertain, guarded.  
" S-sorry!, p-please don't leave..." I practically begged, my voice going quiet. Did I sound like Bella Swan just now? How pathetic.  
" you were the one that left the flowers right? " I asked, trying to not seem desperate. He stood there frozen, angled towards the path, as if ready to bolt again. "Because if not, that's really creepy to lurk around a house full of girls man" the fuck did I just say?  
There it was, that little crooked smile again, he was amused. A faint twinkle seemed to light up his eyes but it was gone as soon as it came.  
" Your quite the particular dame aren't ya doll?" He said, his voice hinting a Brooklyn accent. Dame? Doll? I assumed Dame, meant well, woman and I secretly appreciated being called doll.  
" I guess, I like to think that I am though" I admitted with a small nervous giggle, my feet scuffing at the dirt beneath my feet.  
" Yes it was me who left the flowers," He finally admitted, tucking his hands into his pockets " Did you, did you like 'em?" He asked, looking bashful for a second. I held back the urge to cooed at him. He was absolutely adorable!! But i assumed that a grown ass manly man like him wouldn't want me to coo over him like that.

" Yeah, they were gorgeous, thanks" I said, offering a genuine smile. He looked pleased with my answer, having moved a tiny bit closer, seeming to favor his right side. I don't know what was wrong with his left hand but he clearly didn't want me to know.  
" Do ya have a name doll?" 

 

How? Bucky found himself flirting with his doe eyed soulmate. He guessed that some habits of his seemed to resurface, much to his relief. He took some comfort in that, it may not be a piece of memory but it was better then nothing.  
" Melanie but everyone calls me Mel" She answered, clasping her hands behind her back in a bashful manner. " how about you?" Shit... Would she be able to recognized him if he told her his real name? Perhaps not, he was in Canada and not everyone there knew about American history then again, anyone could watch the news and know that the Winter Soldier was on the run and missing. However, he couldn't find it in him to lie to her. Her eyes were open, her admiration for him clear. He even caught the way she looked at him when she caught sight of him. He still had it with the ladies it seemed.  
" Bucky" He answered and held back a smile as she made a face. " It's a nickname, my name is actually James but I prefer Bucky" He admitted and she made a 'oh' with her mouth and nodded in understanding. 

 

They made their way out of the wood and walked to a nearby diner, which was tiny, considered how removed this town was. There was a few morning birds but the restaurant wasn't even full when they arrived. They were seated quickly in a booth near the window. Bucky took the seat that was facing the door, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. The waitress winked at him when she handed over the menus and sashayed away. Bucky saw Melanie bit her lip, clearly holding back a laugh, her eyes twinkling with laughter.  
" Watcha laughing at?" He asked, nudging his foot with hers under the table. She pushed up her sleeves and glanced back to see if the waitress was coming back before turning back to him.  
" Didn't you see how she was looking at you?" She whispered in disbelief, her lips pulled back in a big grin.  
Of course he had noticed, the woman wasn't exactly hiding her over exaggerated flirting. They both opened the slightly sticky menus and peered inside. He noticed how she wrinkled her nose as she had to wrestled her menu open. He took the opportunity to take her in as the sun started to shine through the windows. She had freckles that dusted the top of her nose and cheekbones. Her hair seemed a bit mussed and by the looks of it, blond wasn't her natural color if the brown regrowth was any indicator. Her eyes took an amber hue as the sun rays hit her irises. She met his eyes and promptly blush, ducking her head shyly, aware of his staring. A shy little thing she was. 

" Du Cafe Mon pit?" The woman asked but Bucky only understood the first half of her sentence. He saw Melanie chuckled from the corner of his eyes.  
" Oui Merci" He answered in flawless french. The woman, Karen, as her name tag said, poured the both of them a cup.  
" Vouz avez déjà choisis?" Her french seemed a bit botched, not to the French he was used to. What type of french was that? He managed to give her his order and she took Melanie's and walked away.  
The blond reached for the packets of sugar on the side with two creams then slid the container full of sugar packets to him with the tiny basket that held the milk and cream. He took some sugar packets but declined the milk and cream. 

She took a grateful sip but grimaced, slowly setting down the mug. He rose an eyebrow, holding up the mug to his lips.

"Taste like shit" she grimaced and Bucky almost choked on his coffee at her language. Sure he wasn't a strangers to cussing and boy did he cuss a lot. He had been in the army and the Howling Commandos were anything but saints about that fact. He hadn't known a lot of women who cussed however , always prim and proper about this type of stuff. They sure weren't prim and proper when they begged for his...ahem...

 

I frowned at Bucky's disturbed expression. Was he offended by how I was speaking? He had paused in mid-sip. I heard a faint crack and saw a split in the wood of the table where his left hand had a death grip on. I frowned in concern, reaching out to gently touch his hand. 

He blinked back to awareness as soon as i touched his glove covered hand. I felt better when he didn't pry it away from me like he did earlier. He didn't answer but I see his jaw working as he seemed to grind his teeth, his eyes shadowed. He breathed seemed labored,his chest heaving heavily. i winced as i heard the wood crack , loud enough for a few patrons to turn around to look. I scooted forward in my seat to reach and gently pry his tense fingers from the wood gently,one by one. Geez he was hella strong to be able to do that. I then dusted off the excess splinters and wood dust from his glove gently, trying to coax his tense fingers open. I tried to peek under the bill of his cap to meet his eyes. 

"You ok there Bucky?" I said,my brows still knitted together, gently jiggling the hand I was holding to coax a reaction. His hand flinched and I heard something akin to whirring coming from him. 

My frown deepened as I went to take my hand back,perhaps I had upset him. He quickly reached across the table to grab it back with his right hand, a tiny whimper escaping his throat. My heart squeezed at how heartbreaking it sounded. I tried once again in vain to catch his eye but he seemed adamant in avoiding eye contact. 

He was clutching my hand tightly, almost to the point that it hurts but i couldn't bring myself to tell him. I reached my free hand to fetch a bit of change in my pocket and dropped it onto the table before standing and gently tugged at Bucky's hand. He didn't need people to stare at him as he had an episode,if that was what is was. Plus, we could get in trouble for breaking their property. I tugged him behind me, sneakily slipping out of the dinner and back into the woods, well as well as i could with a over 6'' burly man . 

As the noise of the forest snuffed out anything else, I turned back to him. He had loosened his grip but didn't seem to want to let go anything soon. I was finally able to catch his eye. His eyes were cloudy,lost. I reached to run a thumb over his cheek, his stubble scratchy, tickling the skin of my thumb. 

'Bucky?' I repeated and nearly jumped back as he came back to awareness with a gasp, his eyes looking everywhere, his body tightly coiled. He brought me closer to his chest, eyes darting around for any source of threat. i reached up to touch his face again, trying to ground him. All his muscles were taunt and hard, his jaw clenched, eyes hard. He looked down at me, his eyes having cleared, making place for shame. " I....I'm sorry I...." He stuttered, clearly growing frustrated by the minute as words refused to come out of his mouth. He pressed his plush lips into a thin line, going back to avoiding eye contact. " Bucky... do you happen to have PTSD? His gaze was suddenly was back on me. The corners of his mouth turned down further, his brows tightly knitted. " Because i-i can help you with that" I confessed, shyly avoiding his eye, suddenly nervous as he kept on staring. I just went on with my rambling " it's not my direct feel of expertise but i could help you by the intermediate of animals" I supplied, biting the corner of my lip nervously. " If you don't want that I can be there at least, a-as... as your soulmate..." I said, almost hopefully, dipping my head to look at the ground, disturbing the earth beneath my shoes with my toes. Why would he want a stranger to listen to his problem? Even if he or she was his soulmate. Why did i even play the soulmate card? Maybe he didn't want me as his soulmate, maybe he was perfectly content in being by himself. On the other hand, he seemed touch-starved, seeking comfort when it was offered. " Ok" He finally answered after a long, awkward, pregnant pause. I blinked up at him and saw that he was offering a very faint smile. His body had uncoiled but he remained alert, eyes darting around very now and then. " I'll let you help me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Traduction:  
> Du cafe mon pit?: Coffee Sugar? ( mon pit is a quebecker term which can either used as a term of endearment or an insult)  
> Oui Merci: yes thank you  
> Vouz avez déja choisi: Did you already choose?


	4. Sexy Lumberjack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets to live in a cabin full of girls, he's not sure if he likes it or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for the late update guys, this fic has been kicking off too and i've neglecting it. I should kick my own ass for this. I also wanna thank you for all the kudos :D

I found myself rambling to Bucky. Why? Because I was so damn nervous, I mean, the man was sex on legs and I was pretty much sure that he could get all the ladies he wanted but he got stuck with me. Boo fucking hoo.

" Don't mind the girls if they get nosy, but they are very nice, they'll like you I'm sure of it' I assured him, my body buzzing with nervous energy as we walked side by side, retracing our steps back to the cabin. I took a glance at Bucky. Come to think of it, he didn't look well at all, in the light of the rising sun, I discovered new features that i hadn't caught sight of yet. He had a five'o'clock shadow of a beard which made him look kinda scruffy. He looked exhausted, dark purple bags weighting heavily underneath his eyes. I frowned in sympathy, I didn't know what made him like this, probably his personal life struggles but I won't pry, he'll tell me in mean time when he's ready. The only thing i was sure of though was that I was gonna make sure that he gets better and that he feels loved and cherished because the man looked like a precious cinnamon bun god damnit.

 

I stopped in the cabin's drive way, hearing chatter coming from the open windows. Bucky suddenly looked uncertain, his brow creased into a frown, every muscles in his body coiled tightly, his fists clenching at his sides, the whirring sound emitting from him again. I gently reached to touch his arm and he jerked away, his eyes wide, like a deer in headlights.

' Maybe it's a bad idea doll, I shouldn't be around people' He said softly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand while the other one, his left, was tucked into his pocket.

 

Bucky couldn't take the sad look that appeared in her eyes. She genuinely wanted him to stay, her droopy doe eyes practically begging him. He wondered how he even followed her here. He was a danger for her and all the girls in the cabin, he had to be isolated, cast aside, like the broken toy soldier that he was.

But how could he say no? He longed for contact, for warmth, for company. Here she was, with her glue, just waiting to help and fix him. Perhaps he could allow himself this small chance, before dropping the bomb on her that would make her hate him forever. His heart squeezed at the mere thought of having one of his soulmates hate him. He blocked out the whimper of distress that threatened to spill from his mouth. She was watching him cautiously, her hand still raised to touch him but not quite there yet. Oh how he wanted to just bury himself into her arms and forget everything and remember everything all at once. Listen to him now, it almost felt like he was falling for her already, how could this be ? He knew her for not even a day and the littlest dame he had ever seen had him falling for her with a snap of her dainty fingers. He sighed through his nose, rubbing his forehead wearily as he reached for her with his flesh hand. The beam that lit up her face did things to his heart that he could definatly get used to.

 

I grasped his hand tightly and guided him up the stairs to the cabin's porch. I reached for the door and took a glance at Bucky over my shoulder. His silver blue eyes were alight with weariness, jaw clenched, the tendons of his neck tensing. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring look before turning the knob and opened the door. All conversation that was animating the kitchen/dining room stopped all at once.

' Hey girls it's me!' I called, peeking around the door to see some of the girls setting the table for breakfast. Their weary looks were immediatly replaced with bright smiles.

' Oh thank goodness, we were getting really worried since you didnt bring your- ooooh whose this?' Marie rose a perfectly shaped eyebrow at the man behind me, her hands on her wide hips, a taunting smile on her lips.

' It's ummm, it's Bucky' I started awkwardly, feeling my cheeks heating up in embarassment. Marie's friend,Vanessa, came to stand beside her and waggled her eyebrows teasingly.

" You go off into the woods to find sexy lumberjacks Mel?' Vanessa smirked ,waggling her eyebrows. The blush came back with revenge as I muttered a small embarassed 'omg' . I could hear Bucky chuckling behind me, clearly amused.

' No, he, uh, he's my soulmate' There was a hush again before the girls broke into cheers, crowding us. I felt Bucky's hand tighten it's grip on mine to a nearly painful level. I squeezed back in reassurance.

' Welcome to the family' I heard Marie say and boy were we in for a ride.

After the initial excitement, we all settled down for some breakfast since we didn't actually ate anything at the dinner. Bucky seemed tense at first, watching the girls fleet around him, not quite sure what to do with his skin as the girls set up the table and cooked. He was offered a beer, since the girls had already initiated drinking so early in the morning, because,vacation. He gingerly accepted it, which made Marie happy since she kept on insisting that he get one. I declined any sort of alcohol, for the time being, it was a bit too early to drink.

 

' so Bucky, where are you from?' Marie said conversatinally, deciding to break the ice after we started to eat. I was seated in between Maude and Bucky. I had taken a seat that was facing towards the door so when Bucky sat next to me he could have his eyes on the door, seeming to feel more at ease to be able to see a possible exit route. Bucky had been eating quite ravenously and was already to his second helping when he looked up, eyes wide and cheeks full of food, making look like a chipmunk. I nearly choked on my orange juice as I held back a laugh at the image he was making. He swallowed nervously before taking a sip of orange juice to wash everything down. I saw his jaw working again, his face contorted in confusion. I saw Marie frown in concern from across the table, the other girls watching Bucky apprehensively.

' I-I um...' He started, looking embarassed for his stuttering, his eyes blinking hard as if he tried to battle some inner demon. I tentatively reached and put my hand on his knee in what I hoped was a soothing gesture. I felt the muscle jolt underneath my hand and I reached to pull it back, realizing that i had breached his personal space without his accord once more. He set his on top of mine, pressing his down firmly, as if he tried to ground himself. I saw his nostrils flaring as his chest seemed to heave.

' Veronica , I don't know what you in those eggs but they are delicious' I quickly said, eyeing Veronica, trying to change the subject. Everyone seemed to get the cue to change the subject and we went back to having light conversation, mainly avoiding to ask Bucky personal questions. I felt his hand squeeze mine and I turned to him with a concerned gaze. He mouthed a small 'thank you' and offered a tiny upturn of his lips./p>I returned it and squeezed his hand.

 

'you sure I can stay here?' Bucky questioned, setting down his bagpack on the bed. I watched him as i leaned agaisnt the doorjamb.

'of course, its all good' I reassured,waving a hand.' if you want to take a shower, theres a bathroom in the basement and one of this floor' I said, crossing my arms and watched as he tested the matress with the palm of his hands. He stretched himself out onto the matress like a big cat,the springs creaking underneath his weight.

He settled down with a grunt. Not even 5 seconds passed before I heard soft snore coming from him. I smiled softly, slowly walked over on my tip toes, trying to be as silent as possible. I peered down at him.His face was relaxed with sleep but there seemed to be a stubborn little worry line on his brow. I felt like smoothing it down, to take all the worries that seemed to plague him ,lock them up and throw them into the bottom of the ocean. I reached to carefully take off his cap, it couldn,t be comfortable to sleep with that on. I froze when he snuffle and gave a grunt before settling back down. I let out a tiny sigh of relief and slowly leaned away, cap in hand. I set it ontop of the nightstand on the side of the bed. I reached to slowly take off his combat boots, who were caked with dirt and seemed well-worn. I undid the laces before prying the boot off his foot and repeated the same process with the other foot. I kept them in hand , planning on hosing them down to wash away the dirt. I was surprised he didnt leave any dirt trails in the house. pI

I backed out of the room slowly and closed the french foor softly with my free hand. I passed the girls who were sitting on the carpet around the coffee table,playing a board game. I took a peek outside and saw that it was a complete downpour. Perhaps i could just leave the shoes outside, theyll get washed either way.

 

We were right in the middle of a guessing game. In which I was making a fool of myself in when we heard a scream of terror ,that reverberated into our very bones.  
'w-what was that?' Annie asked wearily, the card that had 'Nicholas Cage' written on it drifted down from her forehead when she turned her head.  
'maybe the girls are watching an horror movie downstairs, ill go ask then to turn it down' Annie suggested, setting her glass of wine down and stood up,only to freeze when it came again, the sound sounding like a wounded animal.  
'What the fuck man?' Maude whispered, her hands coming to grasp my arm. My eyes darted to where the noise came from. Bucky.  
'Bucky' I said getting up, the fleece blanket that had been on my lap falling with a whispery thud. I quickened my pace as another guttural wail came from the room. My heart squeezed painfully, my eyes watering against my own accord.  
'What wrong with him?' I heard Maude ask, feeling her hand grasp the bottom of my hoodie, as if to keep me from going into the lion's den, so to speak. I gave her no answer as i gently nudged the door open.

'Bucky?' I called softly into the obscurity, the sound of heavy, ragged breathing meeting my ears. My frown deepened, as I pushed the door fully open, bathing the room in muted light.

I saw him trashing on the bed, as if fighting an invisible enemy, giving his all to get away and by the sound of his wounded cries, he was losing. I got my ass into gear when I heard the sheets protest as they were torn to shreds by his mighty fists.

' oh shit , we should wake him up, hes gonna hurt himself' I nodded and gently guide her towards the bed.

' take the lamp away in case his smashes it' I instructed in a whisper, wincing when his swinging fist almost made contact with said lamp.

I had no time to think when I was suddenly yanked onto the bed as soon as I was in reach of the bed, Bucky's hard,solid body suddenly looming on top of mine, his weight pinning me down. I heard Maude let out a small squeak, clenching the lamp to her chest

My breath caught in my throat as he let out a low, menacing growl, his dead grey blue eyes meeting my terrified hazel ones in the semi darkness. I swallowed some saliva, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. My heart thudded against my rib cage in,fear? Worry? Was I afraid of Bucky in that very moment?Yes maybe a little, I knew that he could snap my neck at any given moment, because in this instant, Bucky looked downright terrifying, eyes glowing ominously in the dark, white teeth gleaming as his lips were pulled back in a snarl.

I held back a small whimper when he pressed as hand to my throat, his grip carefully tightening.  
'H-hey Bucky,it's me, Mel' I started lamely, trying to catch a glimpse of recognition in his eyes. I bit my lip as I reached out a gentle hand and pressed it to his cheek, my thumb brushing against his stubble chin.

I felt a breath of relief leave me when the hand on my throat retreated , coming back to rest next to my head.  
'yeah that's it big boy, shhh, everything's fine, your safe' I whispered, smoothing down his hair with my other hand, finding them slick with sweat. I wrinkled my nose faintly but continued my ministrations until I saw his eyes blinking blearily, all the tension leaving his body as if all the fight left him. He also seemed satisfied to used me as his personal pillow when he settled down , his body landing on top of mine heavily. I let out a wheeze as air left my lungs in a precipitated manner. I think I felt a rib crack...

I felt him nuzzle the fabric of my hoodie, taking a deep whiff of the fabric, his body growing lax on top of mine.  
In any other circumstances ,I would of loved to do some horizontal loving with the man but right now , I felt relieved that he had finally settled down, no longing looking like a _ferocious lion_. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades.

I finally looked at the numerous pair of eyes that were peering into the room.  
' Are you ok? Maude asked, now glued to her sister's side.  
'yeah, don't worry, he didn't hurt me' i reassured, waving a dismissive hand. 'we'll speak of this later okay?' I whispered.  
'alright just call if there is anything sweetie'Marie said , her voice holding a motherly tone. I gave her a smile, which i hope she saw before she closed the door, only leaving it partially open.

I gave a sad sigh, looking down at the sleeping man.

What exactly happened to you Bucky? I wondered, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.


	5. Bucky takes a trip to Wal-Mart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mel's vacation are just about over and she brings her soulmate back home with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im definatly gonna make sure i update this fic at least once a week. I'm so sorry that i didnt update sooner. The muse left me and when i went to write this week end , my ear infection took all my ideas away.

My vacations were already over, I wished they could of been longer. On the other hand, I adored my job so it wasn't that much of a chore to go back. 

Bucky and I didn't speak about the whole - i'm-gonna-grab-you-and-act-like-a-ferocious-lion incident. Upon awaken of his slumber, he apologized profusely, his mind much clearer then it had been at the moment. I humored him by letting him check me over for injuries,anything to make that pained look in his eyes dissapear. He had looked like a kicked puppy, blue eyes all wide and brows furrowed, mouth tilted downwards. 

I knew that it wasn't his fault that he had night terrors, that seemed to vivid that he felt the need to defend himself I'm and out of the dream. We could focus on his healing as soon as we got home, I had a little friend that would make him feel all better, or at least a little . 

 

So here we were, on the road back to Montreal ,windows down, music up ,well moderately up ,and our hair flying in the wind. Despise the bubbly music playing from the radio, Bucky was tense, eyes darting at the rear and side mirrors constantly as if there was someone following us. This made my own paranoia intensify as i found myself checking the mirrors every few minutes, grip tightening on the steering wheel. 

I reached for my coffee in the cup holder, taking a grateful sip, ah that was much better. Tasted better then that cardboard coffee we got at the diner or the one that was provided in the cabin. I knew Bucky hadn't touched his yet, the retractable lid still firmly in place. He was clearly preoccupied by something, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

 

A few days later Bucky realized that he was quickly running out of clothes which wasn't hard considering that Bucky only owned 2 shirts, 2 pair of pants , a hoodie and the cap on his head. He wanted to wash them but he didn't have the know how to operate the washing machine. Granted, they had them in his days but it wasn't t like he and Steve could afford one anyways. So they washed them by hand and hung them to dry on a clothe line or on the radiator in winter. It went as such when he was on the run, he would wash them in a nearby river then hung them out to dry on a branch or a flat rock. 

He was the fucking Winter Soldier god dammit. He could work with any gun or vehicle on the planet and yet, he couldn't work a fucking washing machine to save his fucking life. Wtf Hydra. 

'Bucky' came the tentative voice of Melanie, who was now peering at him as he squeezed the life out of one of his shirt. The shirt was now in tatters, his metal getting the best of the thin fabric. Down one shirt...

' It came to my attention that you don't seem to own a lot of clothes' she began softly, her hazel eyes studying his face carefully. ' would you like to go get more? ' she asked, subconsciously tightening her grip on the freshly cleaned towels, who smelled like lavender. 

'or tell me your size and ill go get them, if they don't fit we can always bring them back' she added thoughtfully, taking into account that Bucky wasn't particularly fond of leaving the apartment. 

It was true, Bucky almost never got out of the house, in fear that Hydra was lurking around dark corners. The only times he ever went out was when he went jogging with Fenrir, the puppy's presence having a calming effects on his nerves. When Melanie went out to walk Fenrir, to protect her from whatever was outside, growing steadily protective of his soulmate. He found himself gradually falling back into habits he thought he had lost a long long time ago, meaning he had a soulmate that he could take care of like he did with Steve back when he was a tiny runt. Granted, she wasn't as sickly as he had been but just as fragile, which made him all the more protective. 

'I'll go with you' He answered , throwing the remains of his shirt in the trash.

'OK I'll grab my stuff and we can go' She said smiling,looking genuinely happy that he would go with her. Bucky often found her easy to read. She was shy with him at first, would blush  whenever he looked at her,which amused him to no end.

After a say or two, she grew comfortable and he knew she was being herself. She didn't talk much but he could read her expressions like an open book. When she was worried , her brows would furrow with a slight downturn of her mouth. When she was anxious, her eyes would get glassy and she would chew the inside of her cheeks. When she was happy, her eyes would light up, her lips stretched into her a wide smile. Bucky found that she smiled often, she also loved to laugh and was easily amused by almost anything, especially funny animal videos. 

 

He heard shuffled around and she appeared from her room with a heavy looking purse resting against her hip. 

'I'm ready' She announced,jiggling her keys. Bucky nodded silently and followed her out. She gushed a farewell to the pets and locked the door behind her. 

Another thing Bucky needed to get used to,pets. He never had pets while growing up but he and Steve did feed the stray  cats that would wander up their fire escape. They couldn't keep one since Steve was allergic to cat hair but that didn't the small blond from feeding them scraps, watching the eat their fill with a tender smile.

From what he had learned,Melanie had grown up with pets, she simply loved animals, that was one of the reasons why she worked as a zoo therapist. She soon found herself without any pets when she moved with her bff. Although when her bff got a ferret, she got Baloo the cat. Baloo had been given to her by her sister who wanted to get rid of the cat because she was expecting. Melanie had groused that her sister never got attached to her animals like she did.

Baloo was one of his favorite. The Himalayan bluepoint with seemingly endless blue eyes that seemed to peer into your very soul. He would often find the cat staring at him when he woke up from night terrors. The cat would then meow plaintively then would proceed to settle into his side or on his chest . The cat would purr away the terror,leaving him oddly calm and serene once more. 

Then there was Fenrir, her little ball of joy, which she had rescued from a dumpsters. The husky was as lively as he was mischievous, always sticking his nose where he shouldn't. But boy did Bucky love him. He liked the ball of fur already. Each morning, like clockwork, he would wait for Bucky by the door at 7 on the dot. The way the puppy would look up at him hopefully, his hetero chrome eyes looking up at him without judgement, without pity, just plain admiration. It made him think about something Melanie had said while they were taking one of their nightly walk. 

"A dog will never judge you, they will love you far more then they love themselves. They are also good judges of character, they are normally right when they act aggressive towards a person they deem bad or menacing" She had said matter-of-factly and somehow, that had eased the weight that was resting heavily on his heart. Fenrir seemed to love him to pieces so maybe he had a chance at redemption after all.

 

They got into Melanie's car, a relatively new KIA Rio in fiery red. It even had a smart key, which was a button who started the car instead of the good ol classical key. 

Bucky often found himself paying attention to what would be insignificant details to others but that was how he had been trained, to find weaknesses anywhere. 

Like the front door of the building was slightly faulty, if messed the right way, it opened without efforts. Or the lock on her front door,another easy way in. He could easily scale the balconies in 5 seconds max. He felt weary at how unprotected his soulmate was. Which brought up the other issue.  

He also despise the way his soulmate was unaware of her surrounding, often lost in thought. If he had a dollar every time he made her jump in fright, he could gather a fortune in no time. He ought to show her to be more aware of her surrounding and maybe show her how to defend herself in case something happened and they got separated. 

He snapped back from his thoughts when he felt a gentle ,soft hand encase his rough, calloused one. He looked up into Melanie's hazel eyes and saw the ever present concern. 

'We're here'She announced softly, her hand still holding onto his, her cold hand a soothing contrast to his warm skin. He looked up and sure enough, the big white 'Wal-Mart' sign glaring at him. She squeezed his hand gently and releases his hand, which made him feel strangely empty. He held back the small whimper that nearly spilled from his mouth as her warmth left him.  

He followed her out and she locked the car as soon as he closed his door. He then proceeded to practically glue himself to her side,watching over her diligently. She merely smiled up at him as he practically crowded her personal space.  She automatically reached for his hand, knowing it grounded him when he was in public places. He would focus on the coolness of her palm against his, on the steady beat of her heart, would time his breathing with her when his chest suddenly felt tight. She was like a soothing balm to his soul, fixing it slowly with her patience and kindness. Every smile she gave him only made his world a little brighter. He dreaded the moment when her smile would be replaced with a sneer of disgust and would look at him hatefully. He would have to come clean to her one day , weather he liked it or not.

 

The store was blissfully empty, being a school day, there was just a few elderly individuals and mothers with their little children. They made a bee line to the male section of the store. That was one of the things he like about Melanie, when she had an objective in mind, she did it quickly and efficiently. Need cereal at the grocery store? Direct to the alley take the box and leave for the register. It didn't take her forever to shop. 

They browsed through the mans jeans section. Melanie let him chose what he wanted, offering her advice on what would look good on him. Bucky only picked the clothes for functionality alone, he care not for fashion. At least he could chose what he wanted, not forced to wear too tight, uncomfortable army pants or that awful leather jacket. He picked a few shirts, draping them over his arm, eyes ever alert as he browsed trough the myriad of colored shirts. He nearly panicked when he couldn't find Melanie. His eyes darted around anxiously, the only thing reassuring him was the throbbing of his soul mark on his thigh. 

'hey here, I found some pajama bottoms for you, the last of your size too' Her voice came from his left as she walked over,walking out from what seemed like the sleep wear isle, holding soft looking fleece pajama bottoms. ' they only had captain america ones,i hope you don't mind' She said, holding them out to him. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the Captain America shield design the covered the expense of the fabric. 

He gently took the pants from her with his flesh hand, the fabric soft under the pads of his fingers. He draped them on top of the growing pile on his arm. 

' your a fan of him too?' She asked smiling and he looked up at her and offered a crooked smile.

 

Afterwards they went to grab a cart to dump all of the clothes inside and moved to the toiletry section. He found himself rubbing his beard thoughtfully as he watched the different brands of razor, shaving cream and after shave. The choices were infinite and it seriously made his head ache. He could always ask if Melanie knew a local barber shop, then again, he wouldn't trust anyone  with a blade near his face ever again. 

' my bff likes that one' Melanie supplied helpfully pointing to one of the generic brands for sensible skin and all that jazz. He took can and set it into the cart before grabbing a razor. They made it into the toothbrush isle at a leisure pace, his soulmate trailing behind him, eyes on her phone. All the stuff they had for teeth today was mind boggling, to say back in his days, tooth paste was practically a luxury and now there was several brands for teeth sensitivity, whatever that was, to whiten, to this, to that, Bucky almost felt like ripping his hair out at the sheer amount of choices.  He merely shoved a toothbrush in the cart and went along with his errands. 

They were almost done when he heard a loud 'pow' sound and he felt like bolting, grabbing onto his soulmate and nearly flattened her against one of the shelves, his body covering hers. He breathed heavily as his eyes darted about, looking for the source of the sound. His soulmate looked up at him worriedly, a brief look of pain fleeting over her face. She was touched. 

'Doll let me see, did you get hurt' He fretted, his eyes carefully assessing her from head to toe. He felt his breath stutter in his lung, he had failed at protecting his soulmate from harm. 

' Bucky , Bucky, I'm _fine_ , the shelves is digging into my ribs though' She reassured, shifting a bit so the metallic shelving didn't dig into her bony ribs. He felt a breath leave him as he slumped into her, pressing his forehead into her shoulder. 

 

 

I don't know what caused Bucky to act violently, probably that 'pow' sound that sounded from the next isle over. It must of triggered something inside of him that caused him to duck for cover, dragging me along. I patted his back reassuringly as he slumped into me. I rubbed at his back, reassuring him that I was okay and unarmed and that we were safe. He pulled back, his face scrunched up with shame.

' Hey it's OK, it's OK' I reassured, gently cupping his cheek, watching as his blue eyes slowly cleared. ' don't you ever feel ashamed for reacting against something you can't help' I said firmly , forcing him to meet my eyes when he went to advert his gaze. 

' We should probably move, people are starting to stare' I said softly , gently nudging him so he could back up. He immediately grasped my hand, his grip firm and unrelenting. 

I didn't leave his sight for the rest of the trip

 


	6. Clever Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Melanies co-worker makes a clever observation and Bucky has to spill the beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the muse back for this baby. So much love for this story i cant take it !! I love you guys so much, thank you thank you thank you!!

'hey Mel, did you notice that your Bucky looks alot like that guy from the 40s?, What was his name again? Jimmy Neutron? No no wrong guy' One of my co-worker,Emily ,wondered ,making a show of doing a thoughtful expression.

I shook ny head at her as I munched on a delightful chocolate chip cookie that Bucky had made. The man could cook, it was wonderful. I could eat full meals now, since i was too lazy to cook and mostly fed myself with fast food, ramen and pizza. I had nagging suspicion that he was trying to make me gain weight but that wasnt founded yet. 

'James Buchanan Barnes!yeah thats it!She suddenly exclaimed, almosy making me choke on my cookie as I startled at the sheer volume of her voice. I thumped my chest and coughed. 

'whaf?' I asked, the food in my mouth hindering my speech. Emily only nodded, her bun of brown hair following the motions of her head. She bended over her Ipad, fingers quickly taping on the touch screen. She turned the tablet and slid it towards me. 

'yeah he was a War Hero' Emily affirmed, going back to her greek salad, popping a black olive into her mouth happily with her fork. I saw her sneak a piece of feta cheese to Fenrir, who gobbled it up without even _munching_ on it,little piglet. 

I wiped my hands on a napkin and took the tablet. I began to read the content. I felt myself beginning to feel suspicious. The ressemblance was uncanny, same face,his jawline couldnt be compared to anybody else. The photos was in black and white so I couldn't tell the color of his eyes or his hair. 

I looked at another tab and saw that it linked to the name and clicked on it. 

'Winter Soldier on the run. Ex War Hero becoming a villain?' the headline said which made me frown even harder. My blood ran cold as soon as I opened the tab. 

'James Buchanan Barnes is the Winter Soldier'

' Who knew people could come back from the dead. A certain dead war hero back from the 40s came back to life as one of the worlds most feared assassin aka the Winter Soldier. Cold,heartless killer, ,who was responsible for numerous assasinations, including the one of J-F Kennedy.

Do not engage if localized, alert authorities immediatly. ' I readed out loud, a hand over my mouth. This couldn't be, it was all a matter of circumstances. I tried to reassure myself with that but that small slim bit of hope vanished when I opened one of the pictures that had been taken by someone on the sidelines or whatever. Same blue eyes, same hair, same jawline. Same haunted look in his eyes. My soulmate, Bucky, was the Winter Soldier. 

I felt detached from reality all day long, not even Fenrir's playful yipping seemed to bring me out of my daze. I was on auto pilot when I left the nursing home , when I installed Fenrir in his doggy hammock. On my way home and finally when I inserted the key inside the keyhole of my appartment, I finally snapped out of it. I blinked blearily as I looked down at Baloo, who meowed his greeting and rubbed his cheek agaisnt my calf, tail high in the air. I felt the tension melt away as soon as I carded my fingers into his warm, fluffy fur,feeling the vibrations of his purrs agaisnt my fingertips. 

'Mel is that you?' I heard Bucky call from the kitchen. I looked up from the feline to see him peek his head into the hallway, offering a crooked smile , the one I fell in love with. 

I offered a wave and undid Fenrir's leash so the dog could launch himself at the man at the end of the hallway. The dog yipped and pawed at the man's knees. Said man smiled and picked him up, laughing as the puppy showered him in kisses. Bucky walked over to me, clad in a tight black t shirt, that hugged all his muscles just right.

 _Hmph_...

His chest was also covered in my pink cupcake apron. I never thought a man would look sexy in a pink cupcake apron but Bucky sure did pull it off. He could pull off wearing an hawaiian skirt probably, what I'd do to see _that_. Ahem , back the fuck down hormones, he's talking to you. 

'whatsit?' I said unintelligently, blinking up at him. He shook his head with a fond smile. 

'I said, are you ok, you look a bit pale' He repeated, his brows drawn into a frown. He balanced Fenrir onto his metal arm and pressed the back of his flesh hand onto my forehead. 

His metal arm had finally been revealed to me on the third week of his stay with me and Alex . I had noticed that he had been holding his left arm stiffly and was worried that he might have broken something. I had also noticed how his arm would sometime give little jerks and made a sttange whirring sound. It was definatly strange but I didn't want to pry into it so I left it alone.  

Until the day he was chopping up some onions and his arm jerked, but more violently then usual, sending the onions and everything within reach flying. I could only sit there at the table gaping. He had grimaced, curling into himself , cradling his left arm to his chest with a tortured expression. 

I stood up to help him but he nearly bared  his teeth at me, looking every bit like a wounded animal to me. 

'Bucky, did you injure yourself?let me see' I had implored, gripping his uninjured arm. His breath were stuttering in his chest as he seemed to breath through the pain. I took his left hand  and took off that forsaken glove he wore all the time and found myself pausing. A cybernetic arm? I looked up at him in confusion as he looked away in shame. The loss of his left arm must be one of the issues I had yet to uncover. 

'Does your prosthetic hurt?' I asked, gently tracing the intricate plating of the arm.Smooth metal platings that whirred like a strained machine and seemed to let out sparks. He could only nod and his arm jerked again, nearly hitting me in the face. I kept a firm grip on his arm as he tried to back away from me. 

'No,please, dont touch me....'He whispered hoarsely, trying to pull my arm from my grip.

'its alright'I shushed softly, running the back of my hand along his warm cheek. I could see sweat beading on his forehead, slowly trickling down his temple. I felt my bottom lip tremble at the sight of my soulmate in pain. I felt so strongly for him already, I couldn't call it love just yet but it was getting there. The sight of him in agony was hard to bare.

'h-how does this thing work? Does it use electricity, batteries?' I asked cupping his cheek, trying to hold him up as he looked ready to pass out on the spot. 'maybe I have a guy that could look it up' He opened his eyes, eyeing me wearily. His face screamed exhaustion, heavy blue-purple bags under his eyes, eyes glassy with weariness as he blinked at me slowly. This must of been bothering him for quite some time. 

 

He finally relented and I had one of my mechanic/electrician friend come over to take a peek at his arm He didnt promise anything but he did try. Bucky sat there,shirtless and had been tense the whole time,so I kept close, holding his hand as my friend hummed and tsked as he looked at the circuitry of Buckys arm. 

'thats some weird shit right there bro' he mumbled to himself, holding his tools at the ready. I had taken the chance to peek inside,marveled at the infinity of wires that resided inside. 

'alright, I think i have it figured out,I think'He said doubtfully, a frown of concentration on his face. 'ok man, tell me if this end up hurtin' ya ok?' Bucky merely nodded stiffly, his eyes appearing far off. As if the lights were on but there was nobody home. This kind of detached attitude had me extremely worried. 

Leroy popped a magnifying glass over his eye and carefully reached into the inner wiring of the arm. Bucky tensed, his grip on my hans tightening as he inhaled sharply, his chest stuttered with fearful breaths.

'alright, I tinkered here and there, flex that baby for me man'Leroy said as he took off his safety gloves. Bucky frowned deeply, the kicked puppy look appearing on his face. He moved his arm caustiously, as if expecting pain if he moved it too fast. He flexed it and a look of wonderment replaced the puppy look. He flexed it a couple more times to make sure it was working properly. 

Bucky stood and held out his flesh hand at Leroy with a grateful smile.

'thank you'he said gratefully ,nodding at the dark skinned. The black man pulled him in by his hand and patted his good shoulder in a friendly gesture. 

'nah man, it's all good, although it may be a temporary fix, so you might want to find someone who knows this type of stuff'Leroy said seriously as he released Bucky and picked up his toolbox. Bucky stayed behind, flexing his fingers as I went to show Leroy out.

'thank you so much for coming, you dont know how much this means to me. 'I told the dark skinned man, smiling gratefully.

'aww anythin for you Meme 'The man said patting my shoulder. 'alright gotta go, got a date tonight'He said excitedly, doing a little dance as he walked down the stairs. 

 

His arm had recovered but he used it carefully in case another incident happened. I couldn't believe it, how could someone as good hearted as him be labeled a cold hearted killer. 

 

The guy who went jogging with a puppy every morning. The guy who was comforted by a cat when he woke up from his nightmares. The guy who made a ferret dance across his lap, holding her teeny tiny paws with the gentlest touch. I was actually jealous about that. Chico,our ferret also took a shining to Bucky, laying completly immobile when he rested her into the crook of his arm, his hand petting along her long spine.  
There had to be some explanation to this...

  
Bucky noticed that Melanie was uncharacteriscally quiet tonight. Her eyes staring blankly ahead as she worried her bottom lip, which sported quite a few bite marks by now. She was worried but she didn't seem to be willing to share what was bothering which irked Bucky since she did it most of the time.

_Maybe shes thinking about throwing out your sorry ass. The mocking purr of The Soldier in his mind supplied, the smug smirk almost visible in hia mind eyes._

_Shut up Asshole... Bucku growled internally._

They did the dishes, it was Buckys turn to wash as Mel dried. Alex was absent due to work but he and Mel would go get him later in the evening when he finished his shift.

After the dishes, it was routine to make coffee, bring it outside on the balcony and enjoy a cigarette. Bucky couldn't remember when he had his last cigarette but he did recall that he had to smoke outside due to Stevie's asthma. This particular memory had hit him when he smelled the familiar scent of cigarette when he caught Mel and Alex outside, sharing one while sitting on the lawn chairs on the balcony.

Melanie sat down with a grunt and a sigh of relief as she settled into her chair. Bucky sat down in the chair that flanked hers, handing over her coffee. Two cream and two sugars. She took it gratefully and gave him a shaky smile, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Something was definatly amiss. 

The blond haired woman took the cigarette cartoon that was on the edge of the livingroom's windowsill and opened it, popping one into her mouth while offering one. He took the proffered cigarette and stuck it between his lips after taking a sip of coffee. He watched her light her cigarette with a match,  lighting up her features in a smooth, red, orange glow. She quickly handed him the quickly burning match so he could light his own. He cupped his hand around the match to protect the flame as he puffed out the smoke. He saw Melanie prop her feet up onto the banister.

' I can't sit straight, I have to slouch or I'm not comfortable' She had told him once when he saw her do the same in her computer chair, her feet propped on the desk as she tapped away on her computer. 

 

They puffed their cigarette in silence until Bucky couldn't take it anymore.

'Did I do something wrong?' He asked hastily and Melanie looked at him in surprise. She frowned and looked away for a second before grabbing her cell. He heard her the click of her touch screen keyboard. She then held out her phone and he felt like he had been doused in cold water. 

' I-Is there something you need to tell me Bucky' She asked, sounding choked up. Bucky flapped his lips uselessly, his brain trying to catch up with what was happening. He threw away the butt of his cigarette and ran his hands down his face. 

'I-I can explain' He said shakily, feeling cold all over, like all his warmth had been taken away from him. Who was he kidding? He was the Winter Soldier, the cold-hearted killer that took so many lives, that had so much blood tainting his hands. God forbids that he gets something good in his life now. 

 

'I _was_ the Winter Soldier'He began, quickly continuing when he heard her make a choking sound' but I can explain, please hear me out' Why did this felt like he was explaining why he was cheating on her?

 

He felt his heart thunder agaisnt his ribcage as he reached to grab the hand that wasn't occupied by the mug anymore. His large hand engulfed her smaller one and he squeezed it. She looked down at their joined hands,looking conflicted. He waited for her answer with bated breath and held back a sigh of relief as she squeezed back. 

 'I only remember bits and pieces so I'll try to explain the best way I can' He started,licking his dry lips, taking a hearty gulp of coffee to ease the dry feeling in his mouth. 

'Take as much time as you like' Melanie said nodding and Bucky felt the cold that had seemed to cling to his bones, melt away at the wave of warmth that took over his heart. He felt like kissing her on the spot but he held back , he didn't want to ruffle her too much. But that didn't stop him from pressing his lips to her cheek in a reverant kiss . The skin of her cheek as soft as a peach.He watched contently as a blush bloomed across her freckled cheeks, making him want to do it again.... And again...and again. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im seriously considering looking for a Beta. Anyone game?


End file.
